The Shailesh-tival

“Where are you from?”

I was getting my hair cut at SuperCuts on Saturday when the nice Syrian lady cutting my hair innocuously asked me that question. It’s one I often hear, and yet it’s surprisingly difficult to answer.

If you don’t know what I mean, consider the context. I was born in Maryland, I’m most recently from Michigan and currently live in the Chicago suburbs. When, I’m traveling, I think that ‘Chicago’ is a sufficient answer to get to the meat of what the other person wants to know. When I’m not traveling, though, the question is a little bit different. I don’t think any of the three answers above are sufficient for what the other person wants to know. Now, throw in the fact that most white people getting a haircut don’t typically get asked where they are from (barring a thick accent), and I think you get the true gist why I’m being asked that question. Read the rest of this entry →

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or taping a season of Survivor, I’m sure you’re well aware that last Thursday, the world lost quite possibly the most famous musical entertainer ever — Michael Jackson.

I’m sure somebody will comment about the quality of his music and name some other acts that were much better, but I will go out on a limb and say there was not a single person who was a bigger international celebrity than Michael Jackson.

But this isn’t a blog entry about his music, his level of fame, or what did or didn’t happen in the Neverland ranch. This is a blog entry about the ensuing media coverage. Read the rest of this entry →

If you started college in the 90s then you surely remember the old UNIX email accounts the university gave you. You’d login to your server with telnet and use pine to check your email, and it was all text-based.

If you were also part of a tiny secret society, you also dutifully updated your ‘.plan’ file. The ‘.plan’ file was a text file in your main directory where you’d add a personal message and maybe even a message for a few of your friends. You’d also check your friends’ ‘.plan’ files with the ‘finger’ command. For instance, my email address was ingale@students.uiuc.edu, so another person could potentially read my ‘.plan’ file by typing ‘finger ingale’. Read the rest of this entry →

If you are at all interested in the Robin Hood Hills killings of 1993, then I recommend you watch the HBO documentary “Paradise Lost.” Read the rest of this entry →

I’ve been an Illini fan for 9 years. I’ve seen the Illini play at many other stadiums throughout the Big Ten. Strangely my worst experiences as an Illini fan have been at Illini home games. So today, I present you with:

Shailesh’s guide to being an Illini fan

Read the rest of this entry →

So we carved up this dope Chief Illiniwek pumpkin and bought candy and the kids in my neighborhood are too freaking lazy to put on costumes.

One kid managed to at least find a funny hat and wear that. When I asked him what he was dressed as, he told me he was a pimp. Mind you, the kid is 8 years old. I didn’t bother asking him if he knew what a pimp was, or whether his parents knew their son was dressed as a pimp, because sadly I already knew the answers to those questions were no, and yes, in that order.

Anyways, all you parents out there, here is a guide to halloween for your kids:

• WEAR A COSTUME! If little Johnny is is going to make his fat ass fatter with all this candy, at least give him some exercise and let him walk around the store and get a costume and go through the effort of lifting his fat little legs to put the damn thing on.
• If you can’t wear a costume, find something around the house and pretend its a costume … i.e. wear a suit and say you’re a businessman. Sure you’re completely devoid of any creativity, but at least it shows you respect the concept of halloween.
• Be under the age of 15. Seriously, if you’re over 15 years old then the only way you’re getting candy from me is if you’re a 18+ attractive single female. Or if you’re collecting from Unicef, I’ll give you candy then too. I can respect that.
• Age appropriate costumes!! No 8 year old pimps, or ten year old whores. 18 year old whores are more than welcome, however.