Archive for the ‘Humor’Category

Busted!!!

After every Toastmaster’s meeting we all head to 220’s, which is probably the most low-key bar in Birmingham, MI.  For any non-Michigander readers, let me translate:  It’s still way nicer than most of the bars where I would typically spend my time. Read the rest of this entry →

28

04 2009

Greatest Prank Ever

I have just a short entry today. Someone sent me this video of perhaps the best prank I’ve ever seen and all it took was the cooperation of 15-20 thousand Terps fans. You’ve all heard of those million dollar halfcourt shots that are run as promotions at basketball games, right? Well how would you react if you hit one? Read the rest of this entry →

04

03 2009

Funny TV moment from last night

I’m a big fan of the TV show ‘Beauty and the Geek.’ Basically its a show where seven male “nerds” are picked to live in a house with seven gorgeous but slow women, who’ve managed to get by through life with their looks. Through the course of their stay in the house, each nerd is paired with a beauty and together they must win challenges to avoid getting eliminated from the show. The last pair remaining wins a ton of cash. Read the rest of this entry →

04

01 2007

2Pac & Friends

I get funny things forwarded to me via email all the time. Often these things give me a welcome chuckle in my busy day. Once in a while, however, I get something sent to me that I remember forever.

One of the more popular internet phenomena is the infamous mash-up — taking on soundtrack (whether is be music or speech) and setting it to a different video altogether. Usually these end up poorly done and bring but a gentle smirk to my phase. Read the rest of this entry →

07

12 2006

I’m an uncle!

I’ve been away from Detroit for a long time. I went home for Thanksgiving and then flew directly to Los Angeles for work last week. Anyways, I flew home on Thursday and got home around 11 pm.

Anyways, my sister, who was pregnant, was due on Thursday and the baby still hadn’t come around come Thursday night. My sister is all about deadlines and this kid was already late showing up. “Geez,” I thought, “this kid’s starting out on the wrong foot.” Anyways, I was at Columbia mall on Friday afternoon with my cousin when I got the call from my dad. My sister was in labor. Read the rest of this entry →

03

12 2006

What the hell happened yesterday?

Yesterday Trevor and I went to East Lansing to watch the Illinois – MSU basketball game. We got to the arena about half an hour before the game and took our seats.

MSU’s arena is really nice (probably the nicest arena in the Big Ten), but I think their fans have been a little spoiled by the teams recent success. The arena never got particularly loud, except maybe till the 4 minute mark of the 2nd half. Worse yet, whenever the Illini fans in the upper deck started the ILL-INI chant, the MSU fans did nothing to drown us out.

At OSU a couple of weeks ago that was never the case.

I will say, however, that Michigan State fans are the most respectful and knowledgable fans in the Big Ten.

Trevor and I happened to be sitting right next to three other Illini fans, so that just added to the fun.

Anyways, the Illini were trailing by one at halftime, when we got to see the infamous halftime show. Roughly 20 middle aged men with beer guts came out wearing wife beater shirts, small green shorts and holding folding lawn chairs. One other man dressed just the same but wore a hat and yelled out military calls at these 20 men. Together, the men marched single file around the court a few times and did some bizarre motions with their folding chairs, similar to what you’d see a soldier doing with their rifle. This went on for roughly 10-12 minutes and the crowd simply stared at this halftime show in confused amazement. Some comments from the people around us:

  • “Someday I’m going to be 70 years old and I’ll be sitting on my couch with my wife and my mind will wander back to this, and all of a sudden it’ll make sense.” – Me
  • “I’ve been going to Michigan State basketball games for 50 years and I’ve never seen anything this bizarre.” – MSU fan in front of us
  • “They should give the 2 points just for the halftime show.” – Me (Jamar Smith hit a 2-pointer at the end of the first half to give us a 1 point lead. The refs reviewed the play and originally said the basket counted. Later, they decided he didn’t take the shot in time)
  • “No one is going to believe this when I tell them about it. I have to take a picture.” – Illini fan sitting next to us

After doing some research, I found this information about the halftime show:

What could be funnier than a group of Dad’s marching down the street with black socks, American flag boxer shorts and white tank tops? How about barking out cadence like: “She don’t know and I don’t care, I’m wearing yesterday’s underwear.” Or “All our wives say we are lazy, our laying around just drives them crazy”. Many people jump out and hand off a cool malt beverage to our group. We perform twice as hard for those people. Why wouldn’t we?

They have a website at http://www.lawnchairdads.com/.

I guess the embarrassing part of the whole situation is that, as it turns out, these guys are from Illinois.

Anyways, Illinois won the basketball game. After the game Trevor and I were driving around the MSU campus and joking about going to the Triangle house.

Right then, we drove right by the Triangle house, so we decided to pay them a visit. We rang the doorbell and one of the brother’s answered the door. It was their spring break, so the house was pretty empty, but the one brother decided to give us a tour of the house. We saw the main living areas, basement, kitchen and got some information on the house. Then, he decided to show us a room, so he opened up one of the doors and the person inside screamed, “Oh God, Nooooooooo!”

There was a confused silence for just a moment, but then the brother giving us the tour inquired, “Are you looking at porn?”

And the other MSU Triangle brother replied, “Yeah … sorry, I thought the door was locked.”

We closed the door and hurried away and continued on the tour. When we got to the next part of the house on the tour, there was an awkward moment of silence before anyone said anything.

Trevor and I went out to grab some food with 2 of the MSU Triangles. Since these brother’s were so nice to show us campus, we decided to buy pitchers at the bar. The waitress came by and I asked if I could buy a pitcher. But apparently this place doesn’t sell pitchers. They do sell ‘buckets’ of beer. Now, most of the time when you think about buying a bucket of beer, you think of an aluminum pail, with lots of ice and 6 12-oz. bottles.

I asked the woman if I could mix beers in the bucket and she gave me a blank stare. She said I could but that would be kind of wierd. At this point I was confused.

“What’s wrong with mixing beers,” I asked.

“Well nothing, I guess. It’s just I’ve never heard of anyone doing anything like that.”

At this point I am really confused so I just decide to stick with one beer, and I order a bucket of Newcastle.

A few minutes later the woman comes out with our bucket. Imagine a bucket you’d use to wash your car. Now imagine filling that bucket with beer straight from under a tap. Yes … the beer was poured directly into the bucket, like mop water.

Then we also got a pitcher that we used to scoop out the beer, a rag to wipe down the pitcher, and some glasses to pour the beer from the pitcher to the glass.

We drank a bucket of beer.

05

03 2006

Huck Falloween

So we carved up this dope Chief Illiniwek pumpkin and bought candy and the kids in my neighborhood are too freaking lazy to put on costumes.

One kid managed to at least find a funny hat and wear that. When I asked him what he was dressed as, he told me he was a pimp. Mind you, the kid is 8 years old. I didn’t bother asking him if he knew what a pimp was, or whether his parents knew their son was dressed as a pimp, because sadly I already knew the answers to those questions were no, and yes, in that order.

Anyways, all you parents out there, here is a guide to halloween for your kids:

  • WEAR A COSTUME! If little Johnny is is going to make his fat ass fatter with all this candy, at least give him some exercise and let him walk around the store and get a costume and go through the effort of lifting his fat little legs to put the damn thing on.
  • If you can’t wear a costume, find something around the house and pretend its a costume … i.e. wear a suit and say you’re a businessman. Sure you’re completely devoid of any creativity, but at least it shows you respect the concept of halloween.
  • Be under the age of 15. Seriously, if you’re over 15 years old then the only way you’re getting candy from me is if you’re a 18+ attractive single female. Or if you’re collecting from Unicef, I’ll give you candy then too. I can respect that.
  • Age appropriate costumes!! No 8 year old pimps, or ten year old whores. 18 year old whores are more than welcome, however.

31

10 2005

Now batting, number 5

I was working late tonight (desktop refresh, woohoo!) and I walk into the Bevo cafeteria and the guy mopping the floor tells me I look like Albert Pujols … sorta.

So … decide for yourselves!!!

(Unfortunately, in the process of moving this blog over platforms multiple times, all of the pictures were lost at some point, which is really a shame, because this was truly awesome.

One of them is me at Gauri’s graduation, and the other is Albert Pujols, at last years NLCS. I can’t even tell ’em apart …

16

06 2005

Writing a song

So I was at Sameer’s house on Sunday and at about 3 in the morning, we get this brilliant idea to write a song. I can usually sit in front of the piano and put out some riffs, but this is a whole new animal. Every time I write some chord progressions on the piano, I keep thinking it’d be easier if I had lyrics to go with them. And every time I try to write lyrics they end up being sappy and dopey. I’ll keep you updated on whats going on. Read the rest of this entry →

23

12 2004