Where are you from?

“Where are you from?”

I was getting my hair cut at SuperCuts on Saturday when the nice Syrian lady cutting my hair innocuously asked me that question. It’s one I often hear, and yet it’s surprisingly difficult to answer.

If you don’t know what I mean, consider the context. I was born in Maryland, I’m most recently from Michigan and currently live in the Chicago suburbs. When, I’m traveling, I think that ‘Chicago’ is a sufficient answer to get to the meat of what the other person wants to know. When I’m not traveling, though, the question is a little bit different. I don’t think any of the three answers above are sufficient for what the other person wants to know. Now, throw in the fact that most white people getting a haircut don’t typically get asked where they are from (barring a thick accent), and I think you get the true gist why I’m being asked that question.

Before I get anyone upset, this isn’t a rant about people’s racial attitudes –I’ve been asked this question many times and it’s always been purely out of curiosity. In fact, I take the question as something as a compliment because a) the other person is genuinely interested in my heritage; and b) it’s a conversation starter. I once spent an entire haircut (I know … what’s up with haircuts?) listening to an Iraqi woman tell me about growing up in Baghdad. On another occasion, a townie in a bar in Hazel Park, Michigan, had me translate a few nicknames his coworker had for their boss. (For the record, their boss was not a very popular guy).

Even though I’m not offended by the question, it’s always a little bit awkward trying to answer it. I could go with Washington DC, Detroit or Chicago, but then you create the awkward situation where the other person is trying to politely force the question while I’m not even that offended by what they really want to ask.

They really want to know where my parents lived before they came to the US (i.e.: my ethnicity), but they are typically too afraid to ask. But how do I answer the question “Where are you from?” by talking about your parents?

I had a friend (also of Indian descent) who has lived all over the world (and the United States), and he used to have fun with the question just to get on people’s nerves:

Innocent Asker: “Where are you from?”
Friend: “Washington DC”
IA: “No … I mean before that.”
F: “San Diego”
IA: “No that’s not what I mean”
F: “Arizona? Cincinnati? Taiwan? Dallas?”
IA: “No where were you born?”
F: “Maryland”
IA: “No where are your parents from?”
F: “India”

Sadly, I’m getting to the point where I could start playing this game too …

For the record, I’ve actually gotten to the point where I’ve prepared a canned answer to the question, just to avoid frustrating my conversation-mate: “I was born in Maryland, but my parents moved here from India.” This answers the question they asked, and gives them the actual response they were looking for.

But maybe, just maybe, I should answer with this: “Well I currently live in the Chicago suburbs, but prior to that I lived in Detroit and Champaign, IL for some time, with shorter stints in Saint Louis, and Austin, Texas, although I was born and lived in the Washington DC suburbs in Maryland through high school, which is where my parents moved to after they came here from India, except for the year my Dad lived in Ohio.”

That wouldn’t confuse anybody.

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Shailesh

Just a guy in Chicago who likes to vent sometimes

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03 2010

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