A Blast From the Past
Yesterday marked my second consecutive presidential election night barcrawl. I just thought I’d share the evite from the night that started what I hope to be a lifelong tradition.
“Everyone gather ’round now, Sing us a song
Just in case by tomorrow, It happens he’s gone”
Yes its true. After 2265 days in central Illinois, I am leaving Champaign for good. I will be returning to the nation’s capital (Washington DC) for the time being, so what better day to mark the occasion than election day 2004. Here’s a timeline of tentative events:
7:00 : We go to Murphy’s for dinner, where they will announce just about anything with no fact-checking whatsoever. I waste yet another dollar at the jukebox to listen to “Second Wind” by Billy Joel, “Karma Police” by Radiohead and “In Between Days” by The Cure. The polls close on the east coast. Kerry leads Bush 134 – 127, with Florida too close to call.
8:00 : We’re still at Murphy’s, because we eat slow and Old Style is still $1.50 a pint. The polls in the midwest close with Kerry taking 41 electoral votes. Bush strikes back with the entire south and now leads 211 to Kerry’s 178. Larry Dietrick has had 2.5 beers and has ripped off his shirt to reveal his entire torso covered with AMD stickers and he’s running around screaming “4 more years!”
9:00: Having worn out our welcome at Murphy’s, we move across the street to Brother’s, where every pint is a buck-fifty. The polls close in the Mountain time zone states, but nobody notices. Meanwhile, back in Florida, the residents of the streets take to the streets in protest of the election process.
10:30: Having fully lost our hearing abilities, we move on to Legends, which is the only bar on campus that didn’t think I resembled a 5’4″ Vietnamese guy as a freshman. I’m not sure what specials they have. In political news, all the of mainland US polls have closed, leaving Alaska and Hawaii, and Florida, which is still too close to call. Bush leads Kerry 256 – 248. Back in Florida, the deadlock has led to yet another automatic recount.
11:30: We go to Illini Inn, where everybody who isn’t in Mug Club can join, and they have $2.50 Irish Car Bombs. Meanwhile in Florida, actual car bombs are going off in Tallahassee.
12:30: The last stop of the night, White Horse Inn, home of the World Greatest Beer Garden. The polls are closed in all 50 states. Bush leads Kerry 259-252 and Florida is too close to call. A month from now, an army of high-paid lawyers will figure this out for us and name our new president, and a lot of radio and cable news shows will have four years of material to bitch about. Regardless, two things are for sure: 1) No matter who wins, we all lose, and 2) Its 2 am and its time for bed. Good night!
